In my last post I started trying to answer the question I get asked so often: “How do I learn to actually like running?” I told you that a big part of it was learning to connect with running mentally and not just physically (Mind over Matter!). Your homework was to identify WHY you run and use that knowledge as powerful running motivation! If you missed it, just check out the last post – For the Love of Running (Part 1). This week I want to start out by sharing a story. The Story A couple weeks ago, it was time for my weekly long run. That morning, the whole family piled in the mini-van and drove down to a local running/biking trail. We’re usually not coordinated enough on a weekend morning to pull something like this off, so it doesn’t happen too often, but everyone was “up and at ‘em” for some reason. The plan was for Dad and kids to follow behind me and walk while I ran. We would both turn around at the same time and meet back at the start of the trail to head home. This particular trail is a really straight shot. It’s scenic and flat with almost no turns at all. It also gets fairly remote in some places, so it isn’t a place I run on my own a lot… at least not for long distances. About halfway through the run, I was essentially out in the middle of nowhere with my family at least a couple miles behind me, and I was struck with how un-concerned I felt when typically I would be on high alert in such a remote location. I realized first that I still needed to be watchful since, in reality, if something bad was going to happen there was nothing my husband toting three kids two miles behind me was going to be able to do about it. The second thing I realized was that I felt a certain amount of safety that I typically don’t feel. There was something about knowing who was behind me that kept me steady and confident. I reached the turn-around mark and doubled back to head for the starting point. Again, I was struck by that feeling of an invisible thread connecting me back to my husband and kids… and I found myself with an extra spring in my step. Knowing what was ahead of me was keeping me focused and motivated to finish strong and be back with my family. It got me thinking about all this talk of “connecting” with running and I realized how important this concept is to us as runners. We can’t just know why we run. We have to know what’s behind and ahead of us. What’s behind you? Do you have a support system that you lean on? Is there a group of friends or one friend in particular, a family member (or members), co-workers, co-conspirators? Who’s got your back? And have you let those people into your life enough that they know how important this running thing is to you? Anyone who wants to get more serious about their running, or wants to train for a big goal like a half marathon, needs a support system. But sometimes we expect a little too much of the people around us. We expect them to be able to read our minds when we haven’t actually told them that we need their support. Sometimes we even have to tell them how to support us. I think some of us would be pleasantly surprised by our friends and family if we would just let them in sometimes and admit, “I need you”! So, the next time you need some confidence in yourself and aren’t sure you have what it takes to reach your goals, I want you to call to mind these people and remember what’s behind you! Count the ways that they have come through for you (and be willing to forgive the ways they haven’t) and run steadier for it! What if what’s behind you isn’t so great? For as many people as have a positive support system in place, there are just as many who think of what’s behind them and feel the opposite of safety and confidence. Abandonment, abuse, infidelity, anger, fear, disappointment, losing loved ones, losing faith… the list could go on. I got an email from a reader several days ago where she said that she, quite literally, has been “running away” from past abuses for many years. Running has become her therapy. I don’t think she’s alone. Have you ever had one of those days where you feel so haunted by the past or by present difficulties that you just have to run away? Here’s what I have to say to you. If what’s behind you is positive, cling to it. Let it steady you and guide you and give wings to your feet. If it’s not, feel free to leave it at the starting line. I know it’s not always that simple and sometimes it takes MANY starting lines to truly leave something in the past, but promise me that you’ll keep running. Don’t give up! It’s time to forget what’s behind and focus on what’s ahead. What’s ahead of you? What is it that you’re reaching for? What are your goals? What do you need to let go of? Who do you want to be? What does it have to do with running? These are the questions I can’t answer for you. But the answers to these questions are what should affect the decisions you make every day for the rest of your life. Even the small decisions, over time, set us on a path toward our goals or away from them. Nothing is so small that it doesn’t count. Why am I so dramatic about the whole thing? Ha! That’s a great question, which I am happy to answer. In part, it’s because I’m from a family of 5 girls and, to quote one of our family mottos, “Life’s more fun when you’re dramatic”. The other reason is because running, for me, is about life. Don’t hear me wrong! I didn’t say, “Life is about running”! There are plenty of days for me where life is about everything else and running is practically an afterthought. But when I do run, I make a conscious decision to let it teach me about my life. The funny thing is, we can pull out all the stops and really try to connect mentally with running, but at the end of the day, maybe running will connect with us. Maybe we just have to give it a chance. I still hate running! Now what? Learn to love the hate! I’m actually serious about that as you will see in next week’s final installment of “For the Love of Running”. Stay tuned! What’s behind or ahead of you that keeps you going? And what does running teach YOU about life?
